Texans

Howdy,

Some people call it a swagger. In Texas, we call that a walk.—President George W. Bush

A lot of people who come to Texas have a hard time with this. It’s okay, they can’t help it. They come and have concerts here, and ask us to yell ‘Yehaw’ (which my church’s assistant Pastor does all of the time). They think we all own ranches (which my Mom’s friend, and my sister’s boyfriend actually do), ride horses (well some of us can), and have trucks and guns (umm, yeah well, those are probably right). So you can see how they would get the wrong impression of us Texans. Ummm, well maybe, I just proved ‘their’ point. They would be people from other states, of course.

They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and they would be right!! I mean you may have your big hair, big steaks, big lakes, big prairies, and wide open spaces in Oklahoma or Kansas, or other places. But what you won’t find anywhere else but here, is our Texas spirit, our Texas pride. That feeling that we can pretty much do anything. That independent, love of God, family and country that used to be felt throughout the whole USA. But only more and bigger, because, well you know what they say.

So if you plan to visit Texas, here are a few things to remember:

Don’t call us Texicans, or Texaners. The word you’re looking for is Texans. Don’t mention the fact that Oklahoma has beat us way too many times in football at The Red River Shoot Out. Or pretty much anything about Oklahoma. Don’t disrespect our flag, we can fly it as high as the American flag. Don’t disrespect The Alamo either, some things are still sacred.

Don’t ask to hear us say y’all, yahoo, or yehaw, and we won’t ask you to say Noo Yowk, Masuri, or I-owe-wah. Don’t argue with us about politics, or anything else for that matter, we don’t back down easily. Don’t ask to see our guns or trucks, unless you really do want to see them. We’ll gladly oblige.

Don’t make fun of the way we Texans walk and/or talk, and we won’t have to tell you that you’ve been doing both wrong your whole life. Don’t ask us a question you really don’t want an answer to. Don’t mispronounce our town’s names like you know what you’re doing. For example, Terrell TX is pronounced Teh-rall, more like Eh-rewl, or even Earl, and not Tear-reel or Teh-reel.

A few Texas words and phrases to remember:

Mayam—Ma’am. As in yes Mayam.

Wader—Water. As in will you pour me some wader?

Trick—Truck. As in do you wanna see my new Dodge trick?

Buyun—Buying. As in are you buyun lunch?

Aincha—Ain’t you. As in aincha eating today?

Didja—Did you. As in oh, didja eat already?

Ya—You. Will ya be staying for a spell?

Y’all—You all. As in did y’all hear about Tom?

All a’ y’all—All of you all. As in all a y’all kids are gunna to be in trouble.

Thisun/Thatun—This On/That One. As in thisun’s mine, thatun’s yers.

Yer—Your/You are. As in yer about to be late.

Holler—Call or tell. As in well, holler when ya wanna move that stuff.

Wanna—Want to. As in oh, didja wanna do it today?

Gonna/Gunna—Going to be. As Well, y’all are gonna be in a mint.

Mint—Minute. As in your mama will be here in a mint.

Fixin Ta—Fixing to/About to. As in we are fixin ta go to church.

Spell—Amount of time. As in I’m going to visit Grandma for a spell.

Spell #2—Bad health—As in she had a bad spell, and ended up in the hospital.

Coke—Any type of soda. Ask for a coke, and you will be asked what kind, Dr Pepper, Coca Cola,etc.

Tea—Always assume this is going to be sweet. If you want un-sweet, y’all better say so.

Chunk—Throw. As in you better duck, I’m fixin ta chunk this.

Favrit—Favorite. As in do have a favrit truck?

Cayash—Cash. As in I’m fixin ta go ta the bank to get some more cayash.

Pay-yuh—Pay you. As in did Tom pay-yuh yet?

Yuh-onto. Do you want to? As in yuhonto go to the DQ?

There ya go. Be respectful. Take off yer hat for the Star Spangled Banner, and bow yer head for prayer.

If I have left anything out, I’m hoping all a y’all will let me know. If y’all have any favrit Texas sayings or phrases, please holler at me. Yuhonto?

The One Where She Started Out Talking About Christmas In January Part 2

 

Oh Happy Day,

Do I think having faith is easy? It’s not, sometimes it’s the hardest thing ever.

Have I ever though about walking away from God? You bet!

Have I walked away from God, and tried living away from Him? Yes.

Was I happy? No!

But you’re a preacher’s kid? Doesn’t mean I have always been proud of how I live.

Aren’t all Christians who go to church intolerant, Bible thumpers? Some might be. But the Jesus that I serve would show people love. Not because they were so lovable, but because He couldn’t help it. He is love. They’re were times people asked Jesus to go way from their city. Did He fight, yell, protest? No, He did as they asked, He walked away.

So Jesus just showed love to everybody? Yes, He did. But part of that love was showing them how they were hurting themselves. Jesus loved everyone, but He challenged them. He never just said oh, you know what, you’re good, keep doing what you’re doing. He said go and sin no more.

How do I know God is real? Because of what He did for me. When my birth mom couldn’t take care of me, He made sure I was adopted by loving parents.

When someone messed around with me when I was a young teen, He gave me the strength to forgive, and is getting me over the anger.

When I had to have surgery because a 22lb tumor was growing in me that I didn’t know about, He was there for me.

When I saw the car coming that T-boned my Mom and I, and totaled our truck, He took care of us. He healed our wounds, and had friends give us a car two months before that accident, and a brand new truck 3 months after it happened. He also had two off duty EMS workers eating lunch at the McDonald’s, right beside the accident site.

When I had severe panic attacks (I’m talking about horrified to get into a car, full blown panic attacks) after the accident, He held my hand, and walked me through them. He had me go to a Jason Crabb concert with a friend, where he talked about severe panic attacks, and prayed for those who had them.

When my Dad died from Sclorederma, He was there with all of us. Giving my Mom, siblings, and I strength to care for Dad, and comfort when I cried on my Pastor’s shoulder before the funeral home took away Dad’s body.

When I pray, He works things out.

Does He give me everything I ask for. No, but what good parent does?

How do I know God is real, and not some made up imaginary friend? See the above examples. There have been too many times He has walked me through things to be called coincidences. I believe it’s been Him the whole entire time. If you believe something else, well, let’s just hope you’re right.

So the next time Mom wants to go Christmas crazy, I say go ahead. It will just remind us of the One who we celebrate. The Baby in the manger, The One who died on the tree, Who is coming back in the bright light, and on the white horse. Go ahead, spread the tinsel, light the candles, and put up the Santa Clauses. Just watch it with the holly toilet seat covers, that’s just weird. Merry Christmas Everyone!!

The One Where She Started Out Talking About Christmas In January Part 1

Oh Happy Day,
Christmas has come and gone. I know what you’re saying, and please there might be children around, so cut that out. You and I know Christmas has passed on, rounded that corner of time, and has just settled down for a long winter’s nap. However, my Mom and my house, do not realize this. My Mom (yes I still live with my Mom and little Bro, we’ve already covered that here), to put it mildly, goes a little Christmas crazy.

Around the end of November or the beginning of December, our house changes into a Christmas wonderland. The kind of house that would make Mrs Claus ashamed. We have a Christmas tree. You have a Christmas tree you say? Yes, but do you have a Christmas tree that includes new, homemade, and old ornaments from the 1960′s? Yeah, I though not. Do you have wreaths that go on the front door and back door? Do you have Christmas toppers on your living room curtains? Do you have four manger scenes in your kitchen, and living room alone? Do you have holly patterned toilet seat covers? No? We do!

An actual conversation we had went something like: Mom: If we don’t put the lights on the holly, people will say our house is half decorated. Me: I don’t think anyone could say that our house is half decorated.

So all of this get’s me thinking. How many times do we decorate, and forget about the reason we can decorate, and celebrate? How many times do we put up our Christmas tree, and forget about the Christ that died on the tree over 2,000 years ago? How many times do we put up a manger, and forget the Baby that was born in the manger? How many times do we sing about bright lights and white snow, and forget about the bright light, and white horse He is coming back on?

Now Heard, you might be saying, you don’t really believe in all that Jesus stuff, do ya? In the words of Napoleon Dynamite, heck yes, yes I do! I believe Jesus is the Son of God, born in a manger, lived as a person, crucified on a cross, layed in a tomb, raised from the dead, ascended to heaven, sitting on the Father’s right hand, and is coming back someday.

Am I closed minded? No, I will respectfully listen to your opinion, as will God. But I will also tell you about what I believe. If you don’t want to hear it, I won’t understand, but I won’t push it.

Do I use church and God as a crutch? I go to church because I get strength from like minded people. I hear my Pastor preach, and it makes me think, or have the will to change things in my life. I don’t think of God as a crutch. I think of Him as a Father, and a deep wide ocean at the bottom of a cliff. Faith, for me at least, is like jumping off of a cliff into the ocean. You are free falling, until you hit that water. The water swallows you up, and you can swim in it, or lie on your back and peacefully float. Either way the water has you, until you decide to get out of it.

Do I live in a fairy tale Disney land, where it’s all sunshine and rainbows? Lol, every stinkin’ day, something comes up. Whether it’s a bill that I worry about, or anger that I see in myself, there is always something that God shows me in me. Committing my life to God was more of an adventure, than a vacation . Every day is new .

To Be continued….

How To Eat A Watermelon

Good Day Mate,

Everyone knows that we cannot have a beginning of the year post without talking about resolutions. We have all been through many a New Years Day full of optimism (I will exercise, I write a book, I will catch up on all previous seasons of Flashpoint), only to fall flat after day two. We mean well, we just don’t plan things out properly.

Big Dreams

We live in America, the land of big dreams and big opportunity (I live in Texas, the land of big dreams, big opportunity, and big hair ), and that is incredibly awesome. You want the moon? Well build something, and go get it! You want a remarkably life sized robot friend? Too late, these guys have beat you to it.

But perhaps in all of this go get it done, fight for what you want spirit, that we Americans have, we have forgotten one simple thing–how to eat a watermelon.

Plan It Out

The theory is simple really. If you want to loose a hundred pounds, start out by losing 10, 5, or even 1lb. Instead of saying I need to write a book, write a poem a week. Or get a blog, and post twice a week. Instead of saying I will exercise for an hour every day, why not just ten minutes? We don’t have to turn the world upside down with our genius all at once.

Think of your favorite celebrity. Did the good ones get famous the first time they ever sang/acted/played a sport? Or did they have train, take a job as waiter/errand boy/maid, go to night school, and take baby steps toward their goal? I’m betting on the latter.

Learn It

A lot of us are visual learners, which means of course that we learn by seeing. So instead of simply saying I want to work at home, why not take a business class, or shadow someone in the field you want to be in? Want to eat healthier? Take a cooking class, watch your favorite cook on the Food Network, or YouTube, as you prepare their recipes.

Another way to learn something is to do it. Like riding a bike, you didn’t know how to to it right away. You probably needed help. But once you got started, watch out world! That is the same way to think about your resolutions and goals, practice makes perfect.

Experts agree that it takes twenty one days to let something become a habit. Instead of planning for forever, plan for the next year. Instead of planning for the next year, plan the next month. Start somewhere easy, start small. This may fly against every piece of advice we have all been given by the “take the bull by the horns” people. The “all or nothing” folks.

But you know what? Who cares? If you don’t run a marathon in 2012, but still get healthy because you walked for 30 minutes a day, does it matter? If you don’t get famous and blow up Twitter, but still manage to do enough business to make sure your family has food,and the bills are paid, does it matter?

How you work your goals is up to you. You can go full steam ahead, change around your eating habits, your sleep schedule, sign up for 12 different social networks, and vow to post on your blog every day. Or you can start simple and small, then build up your momentum. It’s all up to you. Oh, and what’s the answer to the how do you eat a watermelon question? One bite at a time baby, one bite at a time.

G’bye 2011, Howdy 2012

Howdy Folks,

I know what you’re thinking, and yes that is my Big Tex voice. As 2011 packs up it’s suitcase, grabs his coat, and umbrella (because it finally did rain here in East TX), I thought I’d write this post. I really wanted to shy away from the list post (although Dave Barry does an excellent job on his year in review), mainly because I really don’t remember everything that happened this year. Seriously, I have to write post-it notes on the door or frig, so I will remember to do things. But because I dig all of you, here goes:

January/February/March

I’m not sure that these months even happened this year. Last year in April, my Dad passed away. I only mentioned that because my family was soooo eager to leave 2010 behind. Anyways, the only major thing I can think of was the “big TX ice storm”.

And we all know that TX cannot function in an ice storm. Also there was talk of loosing electricity during the “big TX ice storm”, because everyone was using too much power. On account of the freezing cold, and the “big TX ice storm”. We also started watching my two nephews, and niece Monday through Friday in our home. Now then, can anyone name one other thing that did happen during these supposed months. Anyone? Anyone? That’s what I though. Moving on to….

April/May/June

In April we had Easter. I remember this because we had an Easter Cantada at church. That is Spanish for singing until the little kids are so restless they are ready to climb the walls. We had all of our family over for Easter dinner, then collapsed into a Easter ham coma. We also did this small remodeling job, truly insignificant. It only involved moving everything out of two bedrooms into the living room. Then patching up walls where the dog had chewed, filling nail holes, painting ceilings, walls and floors. There was a week of sleeping anywhere in the living room, working till midnights, and many trips to Lowes. It started getting really warm somewhere in May. Moving on to…..

July/August/September

By July, the thermostat in TX had been turned to HIGH!! It started in May, then proceeded to go up from there. The thermostat went up past 100*, there was NO rain! Lakes started evaporating, water restrictions went out. Plants and trees started dying, we had several major fires in the state. Our city ran out of water for about 4 days (that’s always fun), we were featured all over the news. We also took my children’s church group to our local science discovery place. Two teachers, two helpers, and twelve kids. Fun, fun, fun! Moving on to….

October/November/December

By Halloween, it had cooled off tremendously, enough so we could bare to be outside again. Our church had our annual Hallelujah party. Which means there was a lot of Chocolate candy. Umm for the children of course. Then it finally rained, I almost felt like running out there, and playing in it. In November, NaNoWriMo started again. I wrote about 5000 words on a work in progress, and then let it go. We had our Thanksgiving dinner on the Saturday after the holiday, and I took that day to FINALLY write our church’s Christmas play. December was filled with play practices, and celebrating The One who gave us everything. That brings us to now…

Have a blessed and wonderful New Year!! Next year, I will try to actually have a decent end of the year post for you all. This means I’m going to have to get more post-its.

9/11–Ten Years, Still Painful

Current Thoughts–Tomorrow will be a day of remembrance, honor, and reflection.  Though this post was originally written last year, it still bears re-posting. My Dad passed away in April of  last year. That being said I don’t think I could even begin to understand the pain the survivors, rescue heroes, and the families of the killed or wounded have gone through these past TEN years.

One of the best ways I’ve ever heard to describe what loosing someone feels like was said on the TV show  Flashpoint. The quote was this–”But I do know what it is like to lose some body, who had absolutely no business dying, and not to have a chance to say good-bye, and to be disgusted with people for just walking down the street like the world is the same place, that if you have just done something different, he still might be here.” The words/feeling that I associate with this day are pain, violence, God’s goodness, heroes, heroism, love.

Hello,

It’s 9/11 and everyone in America knows what that means. Nine years ago America suffered the worst attack on our homeland soil, since Pearl Harbor. September eleventh, will always be a where were you when moment in history. But it will also always have a deeper emotional meaning for all of us that are old enough to remember that day.

On that day I was 17, and working at a church daycare about thirty minutes away from my house. It started out as just an ordinary day, as I’m sure it did for every other American. The other teachers and I had just finished giving the kids their morning snack, when the youth pastor’s wife came in to the lunch room, and told us that a plane had hit a building in New York.

Thinking it was just a freak, but horrible accident, we kept on with whatever we were doing. Then she came back and said a second plane had hit another building. That’s when I started wondering what in the world was going on. And when she came back to us and said the words “we are going to war, they hit the Pentagon”, I knew that this wasn’t just a coincidence or an accident.

Asking the parents as they came to pick up their children, what was going on, I got several different answers. We were going to war, the President and Vice President had been hidden underground, no one really knew what was going on. I still didn’t quite believe it, until I got into my moms truck to go home (she worked across the street from the church at a doctor’s office).  I asked her if she had heard anything about planes crashing into buildings. She said “it’s been all over the news”, and then I knew it was real.

We rode home listening to whatever radio stations were covering the tragedy. After watching a little of the news on the TV, we went to our church,  cried and prayed. Fliers had been put up all around our town, advertising a community wide prayer service to be held at the park that evening. A lot of people were there, parent pushing their children in strollers, different churches, different people, all anxious and worried, all needing to do something.

The next few sad days were spent watching people show pictures of their loved ones to the news media, asking that anyone who knew anything about them call in. The networks also showed interviews with offices that had lost their employees. Co-workers had to attend so many funerals, they started dividing them up, half the survivors going to one service, the other half to the other, and so on.

Story after heartbreaking story emerged about the heroes, who consistently though of others first, and gave up their own lives to save another’s. The firemen, police men, paramedics, officials, engineers, church leaders, civilians, and restaurant and businesses that fed and offered supplies to the rescuers deserve our heartfelt thanks and respect.

A beautiful thing came out of 9/11 though, America came together, even if it was just for a little while. We put out our flags, helped our neighbors, attended church more, prayed harder, smiled easier, watched the kids around us closer, teared up at The National Anthem, ate our freedom vanilla ice cream, and asked for freedom fries at restaurants. We did everything we could to show that although 9/11 had knocked us down, knocked the wind out of us as a nation, with God’s help we could persevere, we were Americans.

I witnessed a moment that I will also never forget, while attending our annual Texas state fair the month with my family. One of the big draws that weekend was the Texas vrs Oklahoma game, and I’ll admit the rivalry between us can get a little heated at times. A little while after entering the fair grounds, we came across a bluegrass band that was playing patriotic music. As they played The Battle Hymn Of The Republic, both Texas and Oklahoma fans removed their hats, put aside their differences and sang together.

Because at that moment a football game seemed trivial, and what state you were from didn’t seem to matter. All that mattered was that we were there together and we were still America, the land of the free, and the home of the brave! May God continue to choose to bless America.

Peace!

Helen

Post From The Archives–Don’t Let Excuse Ruin Your Life (I Mean, Unless You’re Tired Or Something)

G’day Mates,

***I am working on a project today, so I thought I would highlight a previous post. Hope y’all enjoy. Now, on to the post ***

At least once each decade after turning twenty, a lot of people take the time to reflect and take stock of their lives. Most will discover that while they are generally happy with their lives, they always find something that they will regret.

Could some of these regrets be caused by simple excuses? Excuses such as not getting fit because of not having time, not owning a business because of being afraid to fail, not asking someone out because they are out of their league, and others.

There are plenty of more excuses that we can come up with that will keep us from doing what we need to do. There are also ways to combat these excuses, even while they’re still in your head, before they actually start to negatively affect your life.

#1 Being Afraid

You know those tell tale feelings. Stomach in knots, heart racing, palms getting sweaty, voice shaking, those are all symptoms of fear, or panic. They usually appear right before you have to give a speech in front of a crowd, or before you face something when you don’t know what the out come will be.

It has been said that fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real, and Franklin D Roosevelt said “the only thing you have to fear is fear it self”. So what does all this mean in layman’s terms? Basically it means that all you have to afraid of is being to afraid to try, or not doing something because you were to afraid to.

So go ahead give that speech, no one has ever died of stage fright, and the people aren’t going to throw things, laugh at, or walk out on you. And even if they did, what would it hurt? You will be the better person for facing a hard situation head on, and doing what needed to be done anyway.

#2 Having No Time

Another of the biggest excuses that is usually used for anything that hasn’t been done yet, is the cop out that there is no time. No time to work out, no time to start that new business that we always wanted to, no time to play with the kids, no time to watch that movie with your sweetie, no time at all. But is that actually true?

Let’s break this down. There are twenty four hours in a day, out of that we spend eight to nine hours sleeping, which leaves us with about fifteen hours. Figure in eight to ten hours for working, and that still leaves us with about five hours.

How you spend those hours is up to you. Some people may want to spend some time with the family, some may want to use those hours to work out, or spend time in prayer, or work on that business. Whatever you decide to do with them, can you honestly keep telling your self that you have no time?

#3. Not Being Good Enough

Still another excuse that is often used, is the expression that we are not good enough to do certain things. We aren’t convinced that we are good enough to write that book, design that office, prepare that report, or fill in the blank.

But how do we know unless we actually try, If we do take the time to do something new, most people will not criticize and tear you down for it. They will actually applaud you for trying something new, and encourage you to keep doing so. So next time you think, that you’re not good enough, fight that feeling and do it anyway.

#4. Not Following Through

Besides the other excuses that we have already looked, another popular excuse we use, is the question why should I start this, I’ve never finishing anything before? But wouldn’t the better question be “why haven’t you seen things through?” Is it because you fell back on one of the previous excuses?

Or perhaps you gave up too soon, before you had a chance to see any results. Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, or are trying to do too much at one time. Somethings can only be done if they are taken a little bit at a time. You might not be able to organize your office in a day, so why not start with a drawer or file?

Breaking that big project into manageable pieces, will prove that you are able to finish things after all. You just have to believe in yourself, and don’t stress out or give up if you can’t do everything at once. As James Crawford, a motivational health and business speaker once asked, “how do you eat a watermelon?” The answer, “one slice at a time.”

The next time you start to use any of these excuses, think about what you’re saying to, and about yourself. Are you really saying you have no time, or that you don’t want to do something? Do you believe that you won’t follow through, or are you afraid that you will be bored in the middle of the project?

Be honest with yourself and others. If you don’t want to do something, say no. If you are afraid, do it anyway. If you think you have no time, turn off the TV, Facebook, and Twitter, and get-r-done. If you don’t think you are good enough, take the time to do your best on it anyway. If you don’t think you’ll follow through, plow through, and persevere on one small project.

Stop letting these four excuses stop you from doing what you need to do. And the next time you want to use one of these, just don’t do it, and you’ll be glad you didn’t.

Blessings and Peace!

Helen

A Nine Letter Word For Not The Same

Howdy,

Tonight I am catching a few episodes of the Duggar Family’s reality show 19 Kids and Counting (except these eps are from back in the day when it was 17 Kids and Counting). One thing that has really struck me is…they’re different. I know, you might be saying way to go Columbo (look him up, you’ll thank me later), that three hours of sleep you got last night isn’t helping you at all.

But hear me out. They are different in the sense that they stand apart, they aren’t like everyone else. They were talking about clothing and music, and their cousin said something about them being against what “normal” people are for.They dress different, they have different ideas, their morals are different, they act different, they are different.

Different

The dictionary describes different as: #1 not alike in character or quality; dissimilar, and: #2 not identical; separate or distinct. Sounds a lot like being a Christian to me. In 1 Peter 2:9, it says: But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light 1 Peter 2:9.

We as Christians are called to be different, I know that seems like a “duh”, but I know I forget. Just the other day, I saw a country song I used to listen to on Facebook, and I pulled it up on Youtube. But then while it was loading, I started thinking why am I even trying to listen to this?? It’s not healthy for my spirit (it was an I’m leaving you type of song), I don’t need this. So I closed the tab. I don’t always do that though.

There has to be something about us as Christians that is different. When the rest of the world is in a crisis because of the economy, we have to be the ones trusting in God to provide. When the rest of the world says wear what ever you want, it’s free expression, we have to be the ones that say no, I’m not going to cause someone else to sin. When the rest of the world says God doesn’t care,  we have to be the ones to show them God’s love

How can we expect to make a difference in the world, if we are not different. If we can’t let God change us to an image of Jesus, than how are we going to be able to make any changes in the world? Don’t be afraid to be different for God, to stand for Him, to be unique, or even just maybe a little bit peculiar.

Blessings and Peace!

Helen

The One About The Night Where You’re Trying To Watch A Movie, And A Snake Tries To Come In Your House

Hello,

The first thing to know about this post is that I have been sick with some sort of allergy related infection virus. No it doesn’t really matter to the story, but I appreciate your sympathy.

My Mom, Brother, and I (You live with your mom? Still? YES. You try to find a house to rent on a starting out freelance writer’s/preschool teacher’s assistant’s salary) live in a house in the country, in East TX. My brother works nights in a neighboring town, and he started out on his merry little way.

We also live with these guys

who every now and then demand to be taken outside, as they have yet to master the convenience of indoor plumbing.

So I opened the door to let them out, and that’s where the fun really began. In between the screen door and the main door was A SNAKE. It slithered through the crack of the door to get inside. I did what any other red blooded American would have done, slammed the door on it, and yelled for my Momma!

She came in there,and started screaming. Now my Mom is a 5 ft something grandma type, hates snakes, and she has a heart condition. The last two are bad, the first not so much. She grabs a pick and a sledge hammer out of the closet, and hacks at the snake screaming every time it moves.

We don’t know what to do. We have a shotgun, but really that would be an overkill . She tells me to CALL SOMEONE, I grab the laptop, and look up the counties sheriff’s office. They ask if they need to send EMS to check on Mom as they can hear her scream every time THE SNAKE moves.

I  say no, but could they send someone out?? They say yes, but it’s Memorial Day, and they are busy. We don’t know how long it will be, and THE SNAKE is now bleeding and slightly moving. I call my nephew who asks me unimportant questions like “does it look poisonous? A few more screams from Mom, and he says he is on his way.

I tell my Mom she may want to put on a pair of shoes, you know just in case. She comes back wearing flip-flops. A minute later, a policeman shows up, he asks if we can open the door, I do. Then he yells “hang on a minute, wait!!, okay now!!!” He grabs THE SNAKE. throws it down on the concrete, and beats it with a tire iron.

It’s dead, he says (it is now Sir), With a smile (at my Mom) he (an older policeman) claims that Mom has killed it, and to call them out anytime because that’s what they are there for. He dumps in the road disposes of the body, and leaves. Meanwhile I call my niece (he’s my nephew-in-law. Do they make those?) and she call my nephew, and tells him never mind.

We close the door, kill a few stray bugs that have come in as the door was open, and then………realize there is now A WASP in the kitchen. Now A WASP is my enemy I HATE them!!! I am also absurdly freaked out by them, I’m talking little girl screaming, running from the room freaked out. Like I used to be of crickets, but now I can be beside one and not cry am getting better about it.

I got out THE WASP spray (mess with me little wasp), and proceed to spray various rooms of the house, and push in my panic  guide my Mom out of harms way. Finally she steps on it and kills it, and I clean up the spray particles. We then proceed to watch Singing In The Rain, and go to bed. Yep, just a normal Monday, in a country house, in East TX.

 

Blessings and Peace!!

Helen

4 Websites That Will Make Twitter Fun Again

Hello There,

Back in the day you signed up for a Twitter account, right? You replaced the image of that white egg to show an adorable, smiling picture of you, and followed a few businesses and friends. As the days and weeks went by, you began with a few followers. Then you followed more tweeps and sent out engaging tweets, which earned you even more followers.

Pretty soon you found you were ruler of a mini-Twitter village. You found yourself spending several hours on the site, checking out each tweet, retweet, and reply. After a while maybe it all got to be too much. You felt like it was becoming a major time suck, instead of the fun it was when you were first drawn in to the site in the first place.

Perhaps all you need to make it fun again is to make it less complicate. After all, Twitter isn’t rocket science, you know. Try out one or more of these websites, you may just find your way back to writing what’s happening in 140 characters in no time.

TwitrBackgrounds.com

Twitter has around nineteen background designs, but most feature stars, trees, or birds. That’s all well and good, if you into trees, birds and stars. But what if you’re a doctor, a baker, or a candlestick maker? Why not try out a background that’s more suited to who you are and what you do?

Twitrbackgrounds has over 100 free backgrounds from which you can choose. Their site is divided into categories for easy searching, and they can even make you a custom background for you blog, site or business. For a free background, simply type in your Twitter user-name and password, and decide if you want to follow their site. Custom backgrounds are $89.

Twaitter.com

Let’s say hypothetically, that you want to be sure to wish your VIP client a happy birthday, but his birthday is the day after the Thanksgiving. And you plan to spend all of Thanksgiving weekend up at and Grandma’s, where there’s no internet access (gasp), and hardly any signal on your iphone.

Well just for you, the good people at Twaitter have granted you the ability to schedule your tweets. You can even send out recurring tweets, to continually awe tweeps with your genius. Twaitter also offers a myriad of tools, including a translator with over 30 languages. “Tjekke dem ud” or check them out.
TwitLonger.com

Sometimes it’s tough to fit a good Will Rogers quote into 140 characters. Or your reaction to last nights episode of The Amazing Race, or Dancing With The Stars for that matter. Point is, sometimes you just need more room.

TwitLonger can give you the space to write as long a sentence as you want. Sign in with Twitter, write your comments, and click post. Voila, your tweet will be posted. Then when folks click on the continue link, they will be taken to Twitlonger where they will have the option to retweet you.

Splitweet.com

You may have a Twitter account for your business, one for your church, one for your mom’s knitting blog, and one for your great uncle’s ice cream emporium. How are you supposed to keep all of those accounts straight, not to mention remember all there separate usernames and passwords.

Never fear Twitter citizen, Splitweet is here! With this site, you can post to all of your accounts within one dashboard. You can even type in your busines or brands name, and see what’s being tweeted about you. Besides who can resist those cute little purple ninjas on their home page?

Hopefully one or all of these sites will help you manage your Twitter account with ease, and make tweeting more enjoyable. Because after all, if social media sites are anything at all, they should be fun. Not a chore or a bore, but pure old time wasting, and addicting if you’re not careful, fun.

Blessings and Peace

Helen