Monday Monday, can’t trust that day. Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way. Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be……. – The Mamas and The Papas
How’s your Monday going? Are you getting everything dthat you wanted to? Still catching up on last week’s work? Umm yeah, me too. Only for me….it’s kind of like, catching up on the last few years work. Please, lemme ‘splain.
Monday’s are hard on me. Mainly because it reminds me of how far I am from where I should be. Okay, let me be straight with you. I’m 31 years old, and am just now fulfilling my “calling” to write. I know that that is what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. But I haven’t done it yet, even though I have had plenty of opportunities to do so. Why am I stalling? Because of a dirty four letter word–FEAR.
I have let fear pretty much take over a lot of my life. i’ll give you just a few examples:
#1.) A few a few years back, I met this boy. He was cute, and Australian (need I say more, ladies :)) . I met him at a business meeting, where he actually went out of his way to come and introduce himself to me. We emailed for a bit, and I also saw him at a 3 day conference my family had attended in Dallas. I was way too scared to go up and talk to him.
I actually asked God (don’t laugh) to let me see him the next day when we went back to the Dallas Convention Center. The next day (I think you know where this is going…), guess who was one of the first people i saw as soon as I entered the building? Yep. And I still couldn’t talk to him. Even though I saw him by himself in the hallway during a bit of down time (hangs head in shame). He has since married and now has a little girl.
#2.) Recently, I wrote down a chapter of a story that I had had in my head for years. I emailed it to a friend, who is a published author, and asked her to tell me what she thought of it. I lied to her, and told her that another writer had sent it to me to proofread. Because I was afraid that she would tell me it sucked.
#3.) I’m afraid that something will happen to my younger brother when he goes to work.
#4.) I am afraid that if I get married, my husband will be one of those psycho killers, that they profile on 20/20.
#5.) I’m afraid that if I go walking on the street in front of my house, I will get kidnapped.
#6.) I am afraid that when I take my puppy out in the middle of the night, someone will come into my house.
Oh wait, I said a few examples. By now, you are either laughing and spitting out your Diet Coke, or you are nodding your head in agreement.
Then, a few weeks ago, i was trying to find a Bible verse that I could post on a few Facebook pages of which I am the admin. This one came to mind, as I have read it about fifty eleven hundred times. Then I read it once more.
What are are the first five words of this verse? Oh that’s right-Have I Not Commanded Thee? This is when I realized that living in fear isn’t an option. This is not an ‘it’s okay, I’ll hold your hand’ verse. This is a “man up, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and let’s start moving forward” verse. This is when I realized not being afraid is a command.
Did I switch just flip on, and I am no longer afraid? No. I still get freaked out at a lot. But I’m working towards being fear free (that would look good on a t-shirt). I still get that creepy feeling at times, but I am realizing more and more that I am not alone. He is with me. And like I tell my Children’s Church kids, there are more good guys that work for Him, than bad guys who work for the enemy.
In the future, maybe we can plan to see Mondays as mini anniversaries of how close we’ve come to our goals, rather than how far away we are from them. Monday’s will probably always be a pain in the you-know (getting up early is hard), but maybe they can be a promise of better things to come?
Just an idea.
I’ll catch you on the flip side, friends. Save me a Diet Coke.
Blessings and Peace,