Patiently Impatient


This morning it was gray and cloudy in my part of TX. And while I normally am in love with a cloudy, moody, threatening sky, today was different.Today’s sky made me feel a bit edgy, and restless. In fact, my main prayer today was, Lord help me to be a decent person. Not an overly spiritual, or a happy one, just a decent one. And somehow, I think he hears that prayer as much as any of my longer ones.

I’ve had this idea for a while that I should be doing more. More for God. More for others. More for my writing career. And I should be. For months, there has been this nagging feeling that I needed to get serious with God. As a preacher’s kid, it had become too easy for me to play church. Instead of being the church. As far as the writing goes, I started writing as a kid, but I let that talent go for years without use. I decided I wanted to be a pediatrician when I was around 8, but when I turned 20, I let that dream go. Then I turned my attention toward writing. But I never really pursued it whole heartedly.
A few years ago, my Pastor asked me to write our church’s Christmas play. I think I recommended my Mom for the job. ‘No’, he said, ‘God gave you a talent, and you need to use it’. So I have written the play for the past 4 years.I still didn’t consider myself a writer, even then. Then at last it hit me. People were taking the words God had given me, and were saying them out loud. And people were being touched by them.

Still, I know I know I can do more. And of course, I want to do everything now, and have everything happen right now.  Sometimes I feel like a little kid riding a bike. I’m pedaling faster and faster, but I’m still not going anywhere. Somehow, I don’t think it works that way. Everything good in life takes a while, it takes commitment. It takes baby steps. I know everything is in God’s timing, and that He will take all of my hopes and dreams, and fulfill the ones that line up with His will. Sometimes, it’s just so hard to wait.

But it will be so worth it in the long run. So I will wait still….well, not exactly still, because I am me. But I will wait on Him, and do my part in the meantime.

Be still my soul, be still. Wait patiently upon the Lord. Be still my soul, be still. And know He is God, and He is here. — Kari Jobe


About Helen Heard

Hi!! Come on in, take the comfy chair, have a Diet Coke. Let's talk about Jesus, writing, music, family, and which M&Ms are the best (peanut of course)!
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