The first thing to know about this post is that I have been sick with some sort of allergy related infection virus. No it doesn’t really matter to the story, but I appreciate your sympathy.
My Mom, Brother, and I (You live with your mom? Still? YES. You try to find a house to rent on a starting out freelance writer’s/preschool teacher’s assistant’s salary) live in a house in the country, in East TX. My brother works nights in a neighboring town, and he started out on his merry little way.
We also live with these guys
who every now and then demand to be taken outside, as they have yet to master the convenience of indoor plumbing.
So I opened the door to let them out, and that’s where the fun really began. In between the screen door and the main door was A SNAKE. It slithered through the crack of the door to get inside. I did what any other red blooded American would have done, slammed the door on it, and yelled for my Momma!
She came in there,and started screaming. Now my Mom is a 5 ft something grandma type, hates snakes, and she has a heart condition. The last two are bad, the first not so much. She grabs a pick and a sledge hammer out of the closet, and hacks at the snake screaming every time it moves.
We don’t know what to do. We have a shotgun, but really that would be an overkill :). She tells me to CALL SOMEONE, I grab the laptop, and look up the counties sheriff’s office. They ask if they need to send EMS to check on Mom as they can hear her scream every time THE SNAKE moves.
I say no, but could they send someone out?? They say yes, but it’s Memorial Day, and they are busy. We don’t know how long it will be, and THE SNAKE is now bleeding and slightly moving. I call my nephew who asks me unimportant questions like “does it look poisonous? A few more screams from Mom, and he says he is on his way.
I tell my Mom she may want to put on a pair of shoes, you know just in case. She comes back wearing flip-flops. A minute later, a policeman shows up, he asks if we can open the door, I do. Then he yells “hang on a minute, wait!!, okay now!!!” He grabs THE SNAKE. throws it down on the concrete, and beats it with a tire iron.
It’s dead, he says (it is now Sir), With a smile (at my Mom) he (an older policeman) claims that Mom has killed it, and to call them out anytime because that’s what they are there for. He
dumps in the road disposes of the body, and leaves. Meanwhile I call my niece (he’s my nephew-in-law. Do they make those?) and she call my nephew, and tells him never mind.
We close the door, kill a few stray bugs that have come in as the door was open, and then………realize there is now A WASP in the kitchen. Now A WASP is my enemy I HATE them!!! I am also absurdly freaked out by them, I’m talking little girl screaming, running from the room freaked out. Like I used to be of crickets, but now I can
be beside one and not cry am getting better about it.
I got out THE WASP spray (mess with me little wasp), and proceed to spray various rooms of the house, and
push in my panic guide my Mom out of harms way. Finally she steps on it and kills it, and I clean up the spray particles. We then proceed to watch Singing In The Rain, and go to bed. Yep, just a normal Monday, in a country house, in East TX.
Blessings and Peace!!