(Once again I apologize for the lack of updates in the past week, it has been a busy/weird seven days. Add to that a lack of internet access from last Monday through Wednesday, a tired blogger, and a lot of other little things. Now on to today’s post—>)
Any time that one of our church members asks for prayer, or share something that God has brought them through, our assistant pastor echos the word “through”. We have come to realize that it his way of simply reminding us that God is taking us through something, and we are not stuck there. All that was to say this, we as a family are going through.
My dad has Alzheimer disease, and last week they made the decision to put him on hospice. You see, he has been going through this for a while, he sleeps all day and stays up at night, he forgets peoples names, he sometimes gets angry at the slightest things, and other things like that.
Since mom has retired and is home more, she realized how far it had gone. She called his Dr., and the doc decided that it was time. Apparently he has a strange case of the disease, so they can’t really say that, he’ll go from point A to point B with this. He may be okay one day, and completely forget what he did by the next day. Some people say hospice is brought in when they have 3-6 months, some say three years. Mom (a nurse with 40 plus years of experience) thinks that he probably has about a year.
Since we told our family (my aunt, older siblings) and close friends, and there has been tears, concern, and a lot of talking. Most often people ask how we are, which we usually answer with we’re fine. There is however, a certain reality that sets in when hospice is brought into the picture. It is almost like putting out the white flag, and admitting that we are loosing, and the disease is winning.
How do I feel about all this? Well let’s see, it’s been a lot of different emotions; sadness, worry, tiredness, stress, and even surprisingly anger. I am not worried because I know where my dad will go when he passes, I am worried about how it will affect my family, and of course my mom (they have been married since 1962).
I have been through the end of life phase with my grandmother and a close friend, but I have never been one of the main care givers. I am tired and somewhat cranky and often will argue back with dad, even though I know it’s the disease. I really need to work on my attitude and patience.
Thanks for hearing me out and letting me vent. I’ll definitely keep you updated on all of this.
Peace, Blessings, and Success!